i want to be forgotten, and i don't want to be reminded

So, I've been dancing to the Strokes a lot lately, and I think, for the third record, I'm going to go in an epic, pop-opera kind of direction. Like a folk-pop Elton John. I love Elton John. I would wear all his crazy outfits if I had the money...well, if they were the girl versions...

Sometimes I'm a real artist and I angst it out.

So, the last couple of days have been kind of touch and go with me. I got so stressed the other day, when I went to bed I just started crying and crying and didn't exactly know why. And then Matt woke up and asked why I was crying and I felt like such a doofus because everything and nothing was wrong, all at the same time. I'm just having trouble processing right now, and I'm really stressing out over the release/wedding/tour/booking process/day job/rent/groceries. And sometimes it'll just take one thing that makes me even just a little upset, and then the whole damn dam will break.

Ha. Damn dam. :D

All I know today is that

1. I need to clean the apartment
2. I need to get the mail
3. I am kicking some serious tush on my myspace today.

And I'm in the process of booking a show where I'll open for this guy who had a hit song in the nineties, who I actually LIKE and REMEMBER. Therefore, I am stoked beyond belief. I just really hope it all works out...

I've been touring San Francisco a lot more lately. If the purpose of "2008" was to "get known," I think I did a pretty okay job. Now the purpose for "2009" is "get signed," and I am not wasting my time. I add close to four hundred people to my site a day, I collect addresses of labels I'm interested in, I keep in close contact with EVERYONE that writes to me, and I'm on a super crazy show schedule right now. But there's a purpose behind the madness, and that's whats giving me the drive to go on. I don't chase my dream, I hunt it!

On the days when I'm not doing music-y stuff, Matt and I have been going on wedding planning adventures. This is picture is of us at the mall right before we went to register at Macy's.

We really heart Panda Express.

What else is new? Well...I'm kind of upset about being blown off by an old friend lately. We used to hang out all the time, write music and play shows together. But he stopped talking to me a few months ago, and now when I call him he doesn't even pick up. I'm really sad about the whole deal and I have no idea what happened. Pfft. Friend drama is the worst becuase it actually hurts your feelings...